Dear Fellow Black Women Educators,
My heart is heavy as I write this letter to you. To us. Like many of you, I've dedicated my life to education because I believe in the transformative power of learning and the sacred responsibility we have to nurture the next generation. But just this morning, I read yet another damning report about how Black girls are being disproportionately suspended and expelled from school. Still.
It’s alarming. It’s unsettling. It’s unjust. And it really has to stop.
The numbers tell a story that brings tears to my eyes: Black girls make up only 15% of the female student population, yet they receive nearly half of all exclusionary disciplinary actions. Behind each of these statistics is a little girl with dreams, talents, and potential being told she doesn't belong in the classroom. This is the same message that Black women just heard America yell through election results. As a Black woman, that message crushed me in ways that I wasn’t ready for, and I don’t want the same message to crush Black girls sitting in our classrooms.
I don’t know about you, but I see myself in these girls. I see my daughters, my nieces, my younger self. I know the weight of being labeled "too loud," "too assertive," or "disrespectful" simply for showing the same strength and personality that gets celebrated in others. I've been there. Many Black women have been there. I’d argue that all Black women have been there at one time or another. And that's precisely why we must resolve to be their fiercest protectors - not their prosecutors. We have to be their champions - not their condemnors. We need to be their advocates - not their adversaries. After all, if anyone knows what it’s like to be a little Black girl, it’s us.
Listen, I’ve worked as a teacher and school administrator in Black schools for over 20 years, so I am not talking from a place of theory; I’m speaking from a place of experience. And what I know is that too many of our babies are hurting. Too many of our babies are lost. Too many of our babies are emotionally unsettled. But the research is clear: they are no more hurt than other kids. They are no more lost than other kids. They are no more emotionally unsettled than other kids. Yet, unlike other kids, they are suspended and expelled at rates that are both unjust and unacceptable.
Several years ago, as a 7th-grade teacher, I saw this phenomenon firsthand and felt compelled to do something. So, I developed and led the implementation of a girls mentoring program in our middle school, which was well-known as the worst middle school in our district and some might say one of the worst in our city. G3: Girls Got GoalsTM encouraged a radically different approach than what we had historically done, which looked something like this: Kayla talks back to Ms. Jackson. Ms. Jackson writes a referral. Mr. Willis receives the referral and assigns her to ISS. Then Kayla curses in the hallway. Mr. Harmon tells her to stop and she refuses. So Mr. Harmon writes a referral. Now, Kayla gets 3 days of OSS. Then, Kayla is late to class again. It’s her 4th tardy which is an automatic referral. That’s three referrals. That means alternative school.
This was happening over and over again with Kayla, Jasmine, Taneisha, and countless other Black girls who found themselves trapped in a cycle of exclusionary discipline. Meanwhile, as brilliant as they were, they were falling behind academically, because they weren’t in school to learn.
So we decided to stop the cycle.
A group of 20 women educators and Black girl advocates - from paraprofessionals to administrators - answered the call to be mentors to a group of Black girls who had more than 2 referrals and were on track for suspension or being sent to alternative school. We looked at the data, we looked at the list of girls, and we collectively committed to help them. And we did. In the first two years, G3 was wildly successful. The program resulted in a 100% reduction in discretionary suspensions, a more than 50% reduction in disciplinary referrals, and an average increase in academic performance of 22 points among student participants in the first two years.
You may not have a mentoring program in your school yet. You may not have the support of your administrators to implement different practices. But you don’t have to be part of the problem. I am asking - begging - each of us to refuse to be part of the problem. How? Be Black girls’ P.E.A.C.E.
Pause. When one of our girls is acting out of character or behaving in a way that may result in a referral or suspension, first of all, pause. She may be yelling. Pause. She may be cursing. Pause. She may be ignoring you. Pause. She may have an attitude with you. Pause. And as you pause, release your shoulders, breathe in and out, and count to three. De-escalate yourself before you engage with her. Because an escalated adult cannot de-escalate a child. If you can’t de-escalate, send her to another Black teacher before you write a referral or send her to the office.
Empathize. Remember how it felt when someone labeled you as "angry" or "difficult" or accused you of “having an attitude” when you were just being yourself, or when you had been mistreated, or when you were experiencing a negative situation that no one knew about? Remember how it felt when you felt justified in your emotions and no one even tried to understand why you were angry? Remember what you wished people would have said or done at that moment? Or not have said or done? Be that for them. Give our girls the same grace you needed in each of those moments.
Affirm. If there’s one thing that Black women are great at doing, it’s boosting each other. We are gifted affirmers. When we see another sister styled to the heavens, face beat, and hair laid, we can’t contain ourselves and next thing you know there’s an “Okayyyyy, sis! I see you!” or “Yes, hair!!! Yes, face! Yes, dress!” Affirm our girls. Every chance you see - even in the moment when she’s on the brink of destruction. I’ve whispered a quick “Now you know you are too cute to be acting like that!” and it changed everything. Her shoulders dropped. Her mouth curled up into a small smile. And she stopped. Affirmation is powerful. And our girls need it.
Coach. Young girls are often brimming with emotions. Emotions that they don’t understand, can’t explain, and can’t regulate. HELP HER! Find out what pain or frustration she might be trying to express and try your best to meet the need and fill the gap by helping her understand and articulate what she’s experiencing and feeling that’s leading to what she’s doing. “Tell me what happened. What is making you (name the action) right now.” Give her the words to use to express her emotions or feelings. “Oh, I see. You are (name the emotion) because (name the reason).” Connect the action to the feeling. “And when you feel (emotion), you (action).” Then empathize. Offer a personal story and help her consider a different action. “That would frustrate me, too. When I feel (emotion), I often want to (action), but there are consequences to every action, so can we try a different action?” Then, name some alternative actions and invite her to try any of those. “Instead of (action) which will result in (consequence), you could (2-3 alternative, acceptable actions). Which of those can we try?” Coach her to a different outcome.
Embrace. And I’m not necessarily talking about physical embrace. I mean fully embrace her. Get close to her. See her. Hear her. Let her know you’re in her corner. Let her know you’ve got her. Flaws and all.
Hey. I know....and I can hear some of you now. “These kids are too disrespectful.” “Some of these kids don’t deserve grace.” “If they acted right, they wouldn’t be getting suspended.”
Maybe. Maybe not.
First, we have to recognize that sometimes our own internalized pain and respectability politics often make us harder on our girls. Yes, we want them to be excellent. Yes, we want them to succeed in a world that won't always be fair to them. But pushing them out of the classroom isn't the way. “Teaching them a lesson” might actually be causing them long-term harm.
Second, the data is abundantly clear. Black girls are not doing anything more in schools than their white peers or boys are; they are, however, being punished more harshly than other students who engage in the exact same behaviors - or worse.
Y’all. Our Black girls don’t need more punishment. They need more care. They need more advocates. They need more grace. They need more safety. They need more nurturing. They need more love and understanding. They need more of all the same things we need as Black women, and they will only get it from us. They can only get it from us. We know more acutely than ever, that we are all we’ve got. That said, here is the call to action for every Black woman educator:
Create safe spaces where our girls can be their authentic selves
Mentor our girls through challenges rather than punishing them for having emotions
Advocate for restorative practices in our schools
Challenge policies that disproportionately target our daughters
Build alliances with other educators to protect and nurture our girls
Remember, every time we keep a Black girl in the classroom, we're not just saving her education – we're preserving her sense of self-worth, her future opportunities, and her right to be a child who can learn from her mistakes. The truth is, we might just be saving her life.
Our girls are magic. They are brilliant. They are powerful. And they need us to stand in the gap for them. Let's be the educators we needed when we were young Black girls in school.
Your sister in education and champion for Black women and girls everywhere,
Dr. Sharla Horton
What now?
Watch Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in Schools
Inquire about G3:Girls Got GoalsTM, an evidence-based girls' mentoring program, for your school
Download 10 Questions for Ensuring Equity in School Discipline
Bring one of School Excellence Solutions transformational learning sessions or student-centered frameworks to your - ask about 10 Questions or Connections: A Framework for Restorative Schooling
Buy a 10 Questions poster as a resource for your school
Additional Resources:
Dr. Sharla Horton is the owner and principal consultant of Lifted Consulting and Strategy, a boutique strategy firm offering organizational strategy for organizations and career strategy for senior organizational leaders. She is also the co-founder and principal consultant of School Excellence Solutions, a nonprofit consultancy focused on transforming education through excellence in leadership, instruction, policies, and programs. Dr. Sharla is passionate about helping people and teams across industries shift mindsets and practices to improve their outcomes and deepen their impact.
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